Kashi GoLean Crunch Makes Me Fart
So I had 2 bowls of this stuff (Kashi GoLean Crunch) because the first bowl was so good. It's actually a really tasty cereal and very crunchy. The first thing I noticed was that the GoLean Krunch sits in the milk like someone dropped pure roughage in my bowl, no absorption or sogginess, it just sits there like a lump of wood at the bottom with no floating. Next thing I notice was it is by far the most crunchiest food I ever put in a bowl of milk...but it tastes so good. The taste is why I had my second bowl and I even went and put some in a cup as a snack later on in the day but...NOW I CANT STOP FARTING!!!
I even did some research on the web and found someone else is having this problem
reporting that they have farted 200+ times in one day and had to wake up 20 times while they were sleeping which is about how bad it is for me too. Here is Odd Todd's Farting StoryI have farted about 11 times since starting this article and I got to the point in the middle of the day that I would just step outside and fart in front of people because I just couldn't do anything else. It's like when a mother lifts her car up when it pins her kid down... I just lost touch with reality and dropped all fears and began playing the trumpet right in front of women and colleagues. It was THAT bad.
Well.. I know you diggers like lists so here is one for you guys...
5 Ways to Utilize Kashi GoLean Crunch's Super Farting Powers
1) If your husband or wife is pissing you off, give them some Kashi GoLean Crunch before work and even go as far as giving them a little baggy of it for an afternoon snack. Call your significant other up and tell them to hurry home for a nice home cooked dinner, cook them some rice and beans and give them a glass of grape juice. If they don't want to eat the rice and beans pretend you're hurt and then offer them some Kashi GoLean Crunch as an alternative.
2) If your kid trusts you too much, give him a big bowl of Kashi GoLean Crunch before school and tell him you sabotage his food sometimes when he acts bad. He will see you aren't playing around as he farts himself and nearly craps his pants and will act much nicer to you and also when entering the kitchen area in general.
3) Eat 3 Bowls of Kashi GoLean Crunch before school and keep farting throughout your classes. Be the first kid to ever leave class, stay at the nurse all day and leave school early due to chronic farting. If they don't let you stay in class you might even be able to sue since farting is perfectly legal.
4) Video Record yourself farting and win the Guinness Book of World Records for the most farts in one day.
5) Start an e-business farts-in-a-bottle.com and fund your Kashi GoLean Diet.
I'd spell check this but I'm hurting right now, enjoy.
Labels: Fart, Farting, Farty, GoLean, Kashi
posted by needforattention at
11:34 PM
5 Comments:
I just googled "Kashi destroys my ass"... because I had Kashi for dinner last night (24 hours ago) and now I am farting and shitting myself. That stuff is super powerful... but I love it so much!! (makes my wife hate me).
I have to concur with the farting. You would think that maybe it would stop after an hour or two, but its an all day event. My wife hates me as well, but I so enjoy going to the toilet with it! Normally I like the smell of my farts, but it too much even for me but I am addicted. Add some blue berries.
Kashi is full of fiber, which equals mega farting power. What I do is mix a little bit into my cup of yogurt rather than eat a whole bowl of it. Your intestines probably aren't used to that much fiber at once, so try building up to eating a whole bowl full at a time. Unless of course you like the farting side effect, or want to use it as fuel for sweet (and stanky) revenge.
Kashi Go Lean Crunch has got to be one of the most powerful fart producing foods on the planet.
TIP: Eat two decent sized bowls for best results. Anywhere from two to six hours later, the fireworks will begin.
I was farting all day, and I told my buddy "fuck, I've been farting all day!"
He asked me... wait... have you been eating "Go lean" cereal...
I was shocked that he guessed it right.
So yeah... we hung around, got drunk, and farted after that. WTF is wrong with that cereal! It's so delicious!
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